6.2.08
Week One
Well. We've made it past the first week. I've been exhausted and emotional, but also happy and feeling good. I miss Leila rabidly at times, and can now completely understand the women who tandem nurse.
She is doing amazingly well with this big adjustment, wanting to kiss Alena over and over again followed by hugs and more kisses. She wants to read her stories and hand her toys, and only shows the slightest bit of jelousy when I nurse.
Yesterday was long and emotional, with her telling me No mo milk Neena... Neena alll nun! and clamouring on me the whole time I nursed. It broke my heart and was frusterating, because right now we are dealing with enough milk for two, with a powerful letdown (causing sputtering and choking) and a baby who is still getting used to it. We had a meeting with the Breastfeeding Clinic at the hospital this morning and the lactation consultant was overimpressed at my abundance of milk and also the fast that Alena has already gained over her birth weight. She said if only every woman was as lucky as me to make so much milk.
She's been gassy the last couple of night, restless and a little upset from eight til midnight, but last night after she konked out, she only woke at four, then eight. Every night has been different, but the getting enough sleep definately makes the days easier. I suspect it might be red meat that makes her gassy, so I'm going to lay off for a while and see if that makes a difference. Also, I'm wondering if the big letdown could affect her, since my milk lets down as soon as she comes near me and often she ends up swallowing before she even sucks, coughs, sputter, gets a couple gulps and then comes off for a minute to catch her breath (literally), at which point, I soak her and anything within shooting distance (I've started covering myself with a receiving blanket to catch the milk a little). She'll then go back on and eat more, but often takes three "snacks" to drain a breast.
Anyway, things are going well, and I meant to say that this little girl is so breathtakingly beautiful, not only am I overwhelmed with how much I love her, but more surprisingly, I think I love Leila much more than I did a week ago. We tell her how proud of her we are, how lucky Alena is to have such a good big sister, and the pride in her eyes almost reduces me to tears.
Steve's been mostly taking care of her, but I've been trying to get time in each day with just her and I (mostly sitting quietly reading on the couch) for some cuddles. I read her a bedtime story, too. It's hard, having two, and yet easier in ways as well. And oh man, if Steve was going back to work next week, I think I would be crying every day.
wunderwuman at 2:58 p.m.