02.21.08
More to write, but not tonight
I've suddenly gone from feeling quite squishy and kind of fat around the middle, to a hard-bellied pregnant woman. I feel like I'm carrying this globe attached around my waist that keeps getting in the way. I've also recently been smacked in the face by a shit load of worries that had pretty much left my consciousness after Leila turned one, not to mention the realisation that wrangling two toddlers out of the house on work mornings will most likely prove to be nearly impossible, and that my days of carrying Leila back and forth to the car on icy driveways and parking lots (not to mention how the crib mattress seems to be getting farther and farther away) are coming quickly to an end.
I'm nervous about SIDS and about allergies and about breastfeeding all over again. I'm worried that getting excited about painting walls and digging out old sleepers somehow diminishes my love for Leila. I'm scared that breastfeeding won't be as easy this time around, and I'll be bombarded by pressure to stop, I'm worried about labour and pressure from doctors, I'm worried about my birth plan not being followed.
But I'm tired, and there's more to write, but not tonight.
wunderwuman at 9:34 p.m.