02.04.08
Toddlers are exhausting and seriously socially handicapped
I often get a bath after Leila goes to bed and often it is my favourite time of the day. It's not for lack of love. It's not for lack of joy at spending time with her, but it's just that ahhhhhh after I know I can (sort-of) switch off my Mommy Clock. She's in bed by seven, like clockwork, every single night. We've always been really strict with her bedtime and routine, and have only just recently cut back baths to every other night. We were so focused on getting a good sleep pattern from the beginning, so we did the exact same thing every night. Mind you, when she was a newborn, I think bedtime wind-down started at nine, so that I could go to sleep (for those fleeting two hours) when she did. And then it wiggled to eight, seven, six thirty for a while there and now is back to seven. And while I question my mothering abilities on pretty much a daily basis, I completey believe we did the right thing for bedtime. I hear of toddlers who stay up until nine and oh man, I just don't think I could stay sane without my three hours of me or couple time.
Steve's in Africa. He started the climb today. We talked last night for a minute, and though his voice was distant and faded, he told me how much he loved me and Leila. And oh man, he feels so far away. I've been thinking about him, and John and my Dad all day pretty much. Leila has begun to ask for him Dada? Dadeee? and the poor dog has been beside herself since he left.
Leila had a really clingy day today. We had a visit at STeve's grandparents and for the first hour she absolutely refused to leave my lap, eventually was lured by a cookie and pictures in a magazine, but when she pinched her finger in an earring box, the visit crumbled from there and we left shortly afterwards. Around supper she pretty much hung off my leg and when I didn't pick her up immediately, it resulted in major meltdowns. Other meltdown triggers at dinner: the wrong fork; taking away the wrong fork; not dipping the pork in apple sauce; not laughing manically with her at the Pirate Dora on her cup because apparently, Dora is way more hilarious than I realized; and missing her mouth after she insisted that I feed her and then shook her head around like a maniac.
I find it really tiring taking care of Leila at other people's houses. We do a lot of time outs (depending on the day), but I'm never sure how much I should let slide when we're out. Is scolding her worth a fit? Will it cause a fit? Will she just end up showing off and making people laugh and then I feel like I've been completely ignored and figuratively flipped the bird by a one-year-old? Certian things (like hitting - mostly the poor dog) are automatic time outs, no warnings. But she hit Milo today and we were getting dressed for outside and it's such a hassle and I didn't actually see it myself but my mom told me so I let it slide. And then I doubt myself, but at that moment, it totally wasn't worth the half hour it would have put us behind schedule to do a three minute time out.
And then nights like tonight, when my mom bathed her but as soon as I began to dry her off, she screamed and screamed. I took her by the chin (eye contact seems to be key with her) and told her to STOP and then my mom (who is as close to uninterferring as a grandparent can be) offers comments about her being tired or tries to distract her. I tried to let her watch a bit of tv to wind her down before bed, but she ended up howling, at which point, I took her from Mom's arms, kissed her goodnight, plopped (well, in all honestly, I gently tucked) her into bed and left the room. She had stopped crying efore the light was out.
I have been here since Thursday night, I miss my husband, I miss my bed and it's time to go home.
In other baby news, helloooooo Braxton Hicks Contractions. They are serious this time around and I feel at least three big ones (big = stops me from doing what I'm doing because of mild discomfort) a day, usually after four. Also, I was having some huge Round Ligament Pain yesterday evening, fairly unconfortable aching deep in my pelvis (so much so that I looked up info on pre-term labour). I got a stitch during my walk yesterday morning and it kind of never went away, but irritated me all day, and then turned into these aches in the evening. I usually keep Steve updated on these aches and pains I have, but my mom has a tendency to freak out (despite having three children of her own and having been a nurse on a Maternity Ward for at least ten years), so I kept my mouth shut.
I don't really have anything else to say, except that I have now eliminated Kayleigh from the potential name list, bringing it back down to zero. And as I am staring down the barrell of my third trimester, my goal to myself is to focus more on yoga. I have gained close to 20 lbs now, and though I know it's all normal and I shouldn't obsess, I heave a heavy sigh when I think about the 12 - 15 lbs yet to come. Not to end on a negative note, I spoiled myself today and bought two new bras to take me to May and one bamboo, deliciously soft nursing bra I can't wait to use.
wunderwuman at 8:49pm