11.30.07
Family, at the end of the day
Sometimes I feel like we are getting hit from all angles. I work in a grocery store, which is one of the most germ-infested places to be. Leila brings home her power germs from daycare, and Steve is on course with a dozen guys who have been living in the shacks with hundreds of other men for three months. No wonder at least one person in our house has been sick all fall.
Obviously, I am home from work again today. I had an ok sleep but was fitfull and am still feeling really weak today. I am trying to get some laundry done, but each trip up and down the basement stairs leaves me feeling out of breath and shaky. I realize it is worsened by my lack of eating, but thanks to my way too intimate relationship with the toilet the past couple of days, quite frankly, I am afraid of eating anything more than dry toast and Jello. Milo, however, is enjoying cleaning all my toast crusts up for me and I am selfishly enjoying the fickle love she shows me after letting her eat people food for going on two days now.
My deli training has 10 weeks left and I am seriously considering trying to see if I can work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday from that time (26 weeks) until the end (which I am thinking will be about 37 weeks or so).
I am off on Thursday next week and my mom and I have tentative plans to meet in Moncton to get me some sorely need maternity pants. She always askes Will you bring the baby? as if I would ever rob her of the oppertunity to spend an afternoon with Leila. And in true mommy fashion, she was at the ready all day yesterday to come up here and take care of me while I wallowed in my own filth. I convinced her that I was ok and she stayed put.
And I have also been meaning to say that I know I gripe a lot about my MIL, but the fact of the matter is, she is still raising her own two young kids, an involved hockey/soccer/swimming/etc mom, and although Leila may not be as close to that side of the family as we would all ideally like because of a miriad of issues, the other week I really needed someone to watch Leila for the four hours between when I went to work and Steve got home, and despite the complete inconvenience it caused her, she was here without a complaint. She did, of course, have her completely out-of-control six-year-old with her who ended up hitting Leila in the face with a Wii remote (it was an accident but Steve and I were both really pissed) and we are now obligated to babysit said child for two nights in late December, with her, she was still here. And that is the thing you know? Despite major differences in family ideals between me and Steve versus her, and despite many hair pulling moments of great advice (the best being during a conversation of my committment to breastfeeding - this was while I was still pregnant with Leila - that if I really wanted to breastfeed, what I absolutely needed to make sure was that I had a can of formula in my house. Oh yeah, and how she nagged me about how breastfed babies need soothers. Oh yeah, and how she seemed insulted that I could not - and I mean physically, could not - leave my three week old child with a bottle and her dad to go shopping with her in the States that time. . .ANYWAY obviously I have some issues but that is not what this is about so lets move on!). . . where was I? Oh yeah, I know that at the end of the day, if I really need help, she will help me.
wunderwuman at 10:32 a.m.