4.26.07
Updating and feeling good
So remember how I have been griping for, oh, about ten months about the loose wrinkly skin on my belly? Well, magically (it seems) just as I resigned myself to no more bikinis and ugly belly forever, without me noticing, my skin has firmed up! As firm as it used to be, I have no idea. The memory of what my body used to be like is little more than a distant memory of a lifetime ago (literally).
In other news, Leila has officially been outside the womb longer than she was inside. While I was pregnant, I thought of this day, sadly, and was sure it would be momentous and a time for a few tears, but it passed completely unceremoniously. There are times when I see how fast she is growing, when I notice how her hair is filling in and starting to cover her ears, when I see how she is starting to stretch out, to slim down a little, when I see a little girl instead of my wrinkly, red, newborn who worked on nothing but instincts, and it makes me a little nostalgic for how quickly time flies by and all of those moments I treasured, or forgot to treasure, that one day I will forget. But most days I am amazed and in love with this little girl. Twice now I have gone into her room to find her sitting up in her crib, proud of herself. She spied the coffee table yesterday and scooted herself over to it, grabbed the edge and hauled herself up just far enough to chew on the edge, not quite sure what to do with her feet, and hanging precariously by her hands (and teeth). We laughed and helped her down only to be reprimanded by her cries because Hello! Did you not see how much fun I was having eating that table?!
My mom was here for a couple of days, tending to Leilas every whim and picking her up at every squawk, so yesterday was a little long, with a bossy little misses. We went for a lot of walks and some swings and as a result, she slept like a champ for 12 whole hours until six thirty this morning. Long gone are the days of waking at five (thank heavens!) and she can even stay up until seven some nights now.
I had my dress alterations, which went really well, although my voluptuous cleavage in December has disappeared to a severely lacking neckline. They even had to stuff my dress. I was told not to worry because What God forgets in issue, we create with tissue! I have a final fitting May 5 and although that makes for a lot of driving over the next month, it was either May 5 or three days before the wedding, so I chose the 5.
The bridesmaids dresses are really beautiful and the colour wine is so much more red than I had imagined. It is deep and beautiful and my bridesmaids will look absolutely stunning in their dresses.
The days end and I draw blanks, which is why I haven�t been writing here. There are so many thoughts and so many fears and frustrations and little joys in every day that come seven when the house is quiet and the kitchen looks like a war zone that our dinner exploded all over, all I want to do it turn my mind off.
I saw my good friend Jill this weekend, she came for her fitting and the wedding shower, and although I have not seen her since August, it was like no time had passed and we chatted and laughed, she played with Leila and gave her a lemon to eat (gross, but Leila sucked on that lemon until there was nothing left of it � I have never seen anyone who loves citrus as much as that kid!). Also at the shower was my friend Erin who is singing at the wedding who I also have not seen since last summer and that was really good to talk to her and my friend Jade, who is a sweetheart and getting married at the end of June. Plus Steves aunts and mother and nannies, my mom and two of my aunts some family friends and lots of more distant family. It was such a nice day, I felt so special and wonderful and everyone was so generous and unfortunately there were too many people there for me to get a chance to have a good chat with everyone, but I said hello to everyone and thanked them all for coming. A friend of my mothers was there, who I have not seen in years and years, who helped deliver me, was there. My other bridesmaids mom was there, unfortunately Steves sister and one aunt could not make it, one of mine came and left within and hour, and sadly my maid of honour was not there (and was severely missed). By the buzz around I knew there was going to be a surprise and I was hope hope hoping that it was Amanda coming to surprise me. I had it all planned out. Instead it was my aunt who flew in from Victoria, which was so nice of her who gave me a family heirloom, which I will most definitely wear on my wedding day, Also, each guest had brought a recipe which they all put together in a little box for me. So thoughtful! I have a little too much wine at three in the afternoon, vetoed myself off of baby duty for the whole day so Steve put her to bed, had a delicious roast beef for dinner and relaxed that night. It was like once I knew the dress would be ok, once I knew it was going to fit and work, I felt a hundred times more relaxed.
We are in for a quiet (hopefully sunny) weekend, maybe do some yardwork, spread some lime, do some weeding. I am getting ready to start potting some tomato plants once they are in the stores, although first Steve needs to build me a vegetable garden. So life has been good, and things are going well, and eve ryonce in a while, I dig my wedding ring out of my sock drawer and admire it. My hair dresser asked me what about my daily life will change once we are married and while I totally failed to think of anything, we both agreed the name change thing is totally weird and almost like losing part of my identity. When she left she smiled and said Goodbye Mrs. Skinner!!
wunderwuman at 9:10 a.m.