05.25.06
Kinda thought that you were the only one for me
Time to update, I suppose. My midwife appointment was cancelled yesterday and postponed until this morning, so it has kind of screwed me up time-wise.
I feel better today and yesterday than I have for the last few days. Some days it really feels like I am going to be pregnant forever, that I have been pregnant forever and that there is really no way of knowing if the baby will come in a week or two or three. Some days I am sad for no real reason, and I want to curl up in bed all day long and read my book, sleep and cuddle with Milo. But then I get a good night sleep and I wake up feeling like I want to clean the house and wash the sheets and do the dishes and bake some muffins and even if it is not today, she will be here soon. Today is one of the better days.
My midwife did a stretch and sweep today, which while it was uncomfortable was by no means painful. It felt like a really bad menstrual cramp. She said I am one centimeter dilated and my cervix is nice and soft. While this by no means I am headed into labour anytime within the next few days, I was pleased because I think I would have burst into tears had she said it was hard and still closed. Anyway, a good sign that it is softening, and we told her we have been religious in our efforts to soften it (A.K.A. evening primrose oil and sex).
The blood pressure is back up and that results in another evening visit tonight. Last week I was a little worried and nervous, but since it has already been up and down again, I am not too concerned about it. We talked about induction and what to expect, and worse case I will get sent to the hospital soon. I really hope it does not come to that, for a bunch of reasons. My care will get transferred, the labour can be longer, I will have to be hooked up to a fetal monitoring system which severely limits my mobility during labour, and of course the increased risk of cesareans (which is the scariest of all).
I am to expect some mild to moderate cramping tonight along with spotting and was firmly instructed not to curse her during my discomfort, especially if this does not bring on labour. But within a day or so it will either fade out of increase.
But John is coming in two days, and my dad is getting his doctorate tomorrow night and the nursery is still ready and I go and sit in there usually about once a day, look around and putter, maybe rearrange the toys or stacks of diapers and day dream. There is a bit of laundry to do today and I am going to clean the dog fur out of the corners of our guestroom and change the sheets. And I will keep talking to the baby and telling her to come on out, and at least these cramps gives me an idea of what early contractions will feel like (according to the MW) so I will practice breathing deep through them. I told her about my cramps and discomfort and how sometimes it hurts to poke at the baby and she said all those things were really a sign of was that I was nine months pregnant.
But it is sunny and I am happy and apparently my Gold Membership has run out but I am going to renew it today so that just means I cannot post the pregnant picture of myself that Steve took at the park yesterday that he wants to frame. Ah well.
As always, keep your fingers crossed for a healthy and happy baby in the next few days.
wunderwuman at 2:22 p.m.