11.12.04
Just fade away
A list of things I want to do this weekend:
* go for a run;
* play squash for the first time;
* make apple sauce, soup and muffins
* go see Alphie;
* clean my room and living room;
* take Milo to the park;
* hang out with Jill a little;
* call Amanda;
* get some QT with Steve, cause we�ve been arguing lately;
* sleep;
* read; and
* eat at a new restaurant, or at the very least, a really yummy one.
This is the first weekend in a while that there is no rugby to watch, cause it�s all over now. It�s been a year since I played, and I needed the break. I�m going to play in a touch league this winter, it�s on Sunday nights. I�m ready to play again, I miss it. I think about it when I work out, I think about running for it. It�s become my physical focus again.
I needed a break after last fall. It was the only physical goal I had for four years, and it was stressful and dramatic, and a lot of the time, I felt like my dedication didn�t pay off. So I started running long distances, and while it made me feel amazing, it was so hard on my body. I�m not sure if I want to do that again this winter, although I think I will. It�s a goal and if I don�t have a goal, I don�t focus.
I tutor a seven year old, and her dad is my Chiropractor. He and his wife constantly try to convince me to start doing triathlons. A sprint distance would be very realistic for me. I said my bike is a mountain bike, not a street, they don�t move fast enough. Apparently lots of people compete on mountain bikes; you just can�t compete to win.
I�m feeling stagnant, I think it�s because my brain isn�t working as hard this year. So I�ve decided to make other goals for myself. I�ve been working out, but I want to start taking fitness more seriously. I don�t like this feeling, it�s almost lethargic. If a rugby game came up, I don�t feel like I could play in it. When I think I�d like to go for a run, I immediately think about how hard it will be, and how my knees will start to hurt. I want to be able to run like I did last year, just go and keep going. I want to be ready for rugby next spring (and I know that next spring will be here fast). Steve is good at motivating me because he�s one of the most fit people I�ve ever met and I want to be able to keep up.
Another goal is French. I�m taking a grammar class, and it�s boring. I�ve realized that there�s only so much grammar in a language to learn, and I�ve learned it all. And Conversation classes with Anglophones are boring, because I�m more advanced than the Anglophones in Halifax. So I�m going to take a French for Business class, even though it�s only six weeks long. And I might get certified to work in French for the Federal government, or I might continue with the exams I started when I lived in France, I�m not sure. From now on, it�s mostly something I have to work on by myself though. Alliance Fran�aise, where I�ve been taking classes, offers help for these exams, but no classes.
Last week I felt like I was going nowhere, and I felt guilty, because I�ve only been six weeks at a job I wanted to badly. Then I realized that there are other ways I can challenge myself, so that�s what I�m going to try to do.
wunderwuman at 11:53 a.m.