11.18.02
This is your song
I went home this weekend, left Friday and came back Monday morning. I talked to my mom, said I was feeling things I hadn't felt in a long time. That ever since Gabrielle died, things don't make as much sense to me, that I'm confused, that I want to go to church more and more.
She said it could be many things, but not to under-estimate my grief. That even though I didn't know Gabrielle very well, I've known her mother and grandparents my whole life, and tragedies like Gabrielle's death hit you hard. And while I never thought of it, I think that this feeling I'm feeling is grief.
In church on Sunday, the Sunday school kids planted bulbs in a new garden between the manse and the church hall dedicated to Gabrielle. Every time I look at her parents, it breaks my heart. Five babies were baptised, triplets and two other childern, and during that, her mother just looked at her lap the whole time.
It's easy to watch people in their sorrow, and believe you know what's right for them. Watch how both mother and father react differently, and wonder why men seem to recover a little quicker from things like these.
I don't know where this sense of wanting to and almost needing to believe in something again came from, but it's here. And this Sunday, I just might wake up a little early and go to a church where I've never been before, just to see what that minister has to say.
wunderwuman at