12.02.01/2
I'm not crazy, or anything
A month or two ago, I told myself that it was time to start finding something more to me. Then Zach came along, and I fear that I haven't filled this hole, just covered it up with his touches.
I want to pray, to meditate, to find something inside myself, to find whatever it may be that I'm looking for, but the days seem to pass much too quickly. My mind numbs with studying and sex and exercise and soothing my mother's worries about my lack of studying. I tell her that my marks are good. She tells me that just because my marks are good, doens't mean I don't have to study. I tell her that what I meant was that my marks are good, so obviously I'm doing something right.
When two people come from two different worlds, and have two different notions about love and trust and relationships, how long can it actually last? I'm happy now, but I'm not fooling myself, I don't think I'll fall in love with this boy.
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