8.18.08
Home (Bitter?)Sweet Home
Back from a vacation that was, in a word, very relaxing although I couldn't be happier to be home.
I have so much to write about, a job interview for Steve that may mean a release from the military, the evening walks we had along the shore that involved splashing in puddles for all, a little baby who I swear is the most smiley baby alive. But most prominently in my mind is a terribly tragic accident that claimed the life of an 11 year old and a 22 month old.
A family I know, the rainstorm that caused the accident (that we were driving in, too, at the same time), the horrible details of how the mother fell into the fetal position when she was told and how her parents had to pry her out to choose the casket, the fact that this girl is little more than a child herself, years younger than I am, the fact that the baby was almost the same age as Leila.
It's left both Steve and I very shaken, the unimaginable finality of it. It's left us more protective than usual of our girls, nervous for them to be with other drivers, around the water with anyone but ourselves.
I have all the normal fears of a woman, I think. I'm scared I'll lose Steve, I think about the day my parents will no longer be around, my brothers, so far away, I wonder if these people know how much I love them. But losing the girls.... it's a place I can't even let myself go. I actually cannot imagine the empty shell that would be my life without these children.
I don't want to go on too long, as it's so sad and I'm on the verge of tears every time I think of that poor, poor family.
So today is unpacking and laundry and going for a run (I kind of fell off the WW and running wagon about ten days ago... and by "fell off" I mean dove off into a big ol' pile of chocolate cake, apple pie and icecream and loved every delicious bite of it), tomorrow is my WW meeting, Leila is at daycare, Alena is sleeping in her swing (oh sleep, let's save that for an entry of itself... let's just say I slipped into bad habits and now trying to break them has resulted in protests), Steve has gone for a haircut and I need to jump in the shower.
wunderwuman at 1:46 p.m.