6.9.08
Two Weeks In
I've had so many thoughts and entries running through my mind these past two weeks yet every time I sit down to write, they are all gone.
My nipples are sore, first and foremost. Nothing that indicates a bad latch, or any kind of infection, I just think that Alena's fairly aggressive method of eating had left me a little tender longer than I expected. When she's relaly hungry, she completely drains a (very full) breast in less than ten minutes. Compared to Leila who often suckled for an hour at a time, it's been a little more difficult to get used to. Other than that, things seem, in a lot of ways, easier this time. First of all, she doesn't have that constant and urgent need to suck all the time, which not only drastically reduces breast feeding time, it also makes it easier to set her down in her vibrating chair or swing for more than three minutes.
Leila is doing so well, although still slightly jealous during breast feeding, and tried to latch on yesterday. It makes me sad, that she feels excluded, but I really don't want to nurse a toddler. I've been giving her so many cuddles and hugs and reading books, Steve's been taking her outside to play so much and she's always happy to go on her daycare days. I know in my heart it will pass, but still emotions are emotions and I do often double guess myself as to whether or not I should let her back on. We've been a little more lax in our discipline, more tolerant of her getting upset (which happens a little easier these days) because we know she's still adjusting. And also there's potty training on the table which hasn't started but will soon. Steve is convinced she's ready as she shows every single sign, but I worry we'll push her too fast. Although getting her out of diapers would be really, really nice.
Her birthday is Saturday (2! I can't believe it) so there's a cake to be made and a grocery order to get later this week. Mine is Thursday, which constantly surprises me because there are so many other things to do, like doctor's appointments and insurance claims and avoiding looking at myself in the mirror because, ugh, I think this is the worst point physically, because aside from a short walk, there's nothing really I can do yet besides watch what I eat and I'm starting to get restless and have been shooting my running sneakers furtive glances when I see them in the closet.
Anyway, the babe is getting restless in her swing and the laundry needs to be done and the kitchen is messy and maybe, just maybe, I'll get some dusting done before Leila's birthday party on Saturday.
wunderwuman at 10:30 a.m.