02.07.08
It's hard to let go
I took Leila to a reading group at the local library today. They read some books, sings some songs and do a "craft" It's our second week going, and she seems to like it, but like everything in her life, Leila reserves judgement and acts fairly suspicious of new things. The group is for kids aged 18 to 36 months, and, as expected with that age group, there are a handful of infants who accompany their siblings and a few preggos.
I'm not really concerned about Leila's level of socialization, since she's at daycare three times a week, but I wanted something for us to do to get out of the house, as the days are long when you're trapped inside in Februrary with a toddler, and I was hoping to meet some other moms who live nearby.
The group is quite structured, with little to zero room for free play. I understand that it's only a half and hour and the woman who organizes it wants things to move quickly to avoid boredom, distraction, meltdowns, and all the fun things that a group of toddlers is prone to.
A lot of the moms struggle to keep their kid on the lap, tell them to shhhhhh, listen to the story, and end up wrestling them into submission or a time-out in the hallway. The craft today was glueing together a rocketship (which is a little too advanced for the group if you ask me, but whatever). Leila wanted the stars on the ship and the fire from the engine in the sky and so whatever, that's where we put them. Some of the other moms corrected their children's glueing techniques, putting the flames by the boosters, and the stripes in the middle, and the stars around the moon. Don't get me wrong, when we colour together, I have to consciously stop myself from taking the crayons and just finishing the picture myself. We are just all taught to think so strictly inside the box that when the stars aren't around the moon, it really bothers us because, well, because it's wrong.
Leila was watching The Big Comfy Couch the other day (yes, my no tv rule has pretty much gone out the window) and they were talking about school. And school is a place you go where you learn to think. And I thought how unfair that was, and for a few reasons. It implies that children don't have the ability on their own to think, when I can see very well that my daughter is bright and thoughtful and likes to figure things out on her own. And anyway, school teaches you to think, as long as you accept thinking inside the box.
It's like the little boy last week who wanted to bark and growl at us like a dog while the stry was being read, it sure as heck didn't bother me, but it seemed to really bother his mom. And Leila, who apparently thought her name tag necklace was made out of poison, since she screamed when I put it on her. Didn't bother me that she wouldn't wear it, but the organizer made a point of asking me her name. I'm not sure if she was making a passive agressive comment or if it was just my hyper-sensitivity.
Steve's aunt called today, and asked if she could take Leila to play with another little girl she knows this afternoon, and my first reaction was to say no. Because she's not totally confortable with this woman, and sometimes gets scared when she sees her, or because she has this lingering cough and I don't want her to infect the other kid. I listened to the message, and after I thought about it for a while, I reminded myself that her cough is almost non-existant, and she's never going to get to know people in her family unless she spends time with them. Don't get me wrong, when she comes over, we'll stay here until Leila seems comfortable enough to go alone with her, I wouldn't push her crying out the door, but it's always that gut reaction I have to not let her go without me.
After her rocketship was finished, I asked her if she would like to take it home. When she told me Uh-huh, I asked if she wanted to give it to someone, she said a Dada!. I think he'll absolutely love it, mismatched stars and all.
wunderwuman at 11:39 a.m.