10.11.06
My prayers of thanks
There were numerous times this weekend when I counted my blessings.
I could write a thousand entries about how there does not seem to be any rhyme or reason to life sometimes. Entries questioning why Steve and I were lucky enough to find each other, to settle into this life together, to be blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby, to be financially secure.
I was going to write an entry about pressure, mostly the kind I put on myself. The pressure to be a Super Mom, to have a perfect house and make a perfect apple pie. The pressure I put on myself because I am not where I planned to be at 25, career-wise, or education wise.
But this week is the one year check up for my father, and then I stumbled upon this.
So I called him today, to say hello and to tell him I loved him and to wish him luck. Because even when your mind tells you everything is going to be ok, that everyone is safe, there are still flutters of fear in my heart.
It is like when I go to check on Leila before I go to bed every night. Those seconds from when I open the door until she moves or I feel her breathing, my heart stops and waits for the worst moment of my life.
There are no answers to the questions I have, only prayers to be uttered every moment I get a chance. Prayers for my family and prayers for my friends, prayers for safety and prayers of thanks. And in the end, I guess that is what this weekend was really all about. The prayers of thanks.
wunderwuman at 3:26 p.m.