04.10.03
Reach out a hand to touch your face
Another strange (stranger) one last night. Remember in the fall, I went to a 23-month old baby girl's funeral? Gabrielle? Her mom is pregnant again, and I'm so, so happy for them. This was my dream last night:
My mom, dad and I went to church together. We sat on the opposite side from where we usually sit, with Gabriell's grandmother and parents. There were two toddlers there, and my parents were taking care of them, one each. I held a little brunette girl for about fiftenn minutes, but when she started to fuss, my mom took her out. Gale (Gabrielle's grandmother) looked at me and said, "She is really good with kids." I smiled and looked at my dad, who was playing with the other little girl and said, "Yeah, they both really want grandchildren."
Switch scenes: I'm at the pool at the resort I stayed in in Mexico in December, and I'm pregnant. But the funny thing is, my skin is transparent, so I can see the baby growning inside of me. I know that it's not my baby, it's Jillian and Guy's (Gabrielle's parents) and they needed a womb in which to grow their new baby, so I had offered mine. I watched the baby move inside of me and rubbed my stomach. I was really happy. But then a man came over with a telegram, and said it was urgent. I asked hm to read it to me, and he said that due to money problems that Jillian and Guy were facing, she had committed sucided by hanging herself.
My mom was there too, and we were shocked. I realized how huge of a thing this pregnancy was going to be, that I wouldn't be able to play rugby in the fall, or party anymore with my friends. But I thought of Guy, wife and daughter dead within a year of each other and I knew that I had to keep the baby in my stomach so that he could have some sort of consolance for all his loss.
The dreams I have when I'm stressed, eh?
wunderwuman at