10.06.02
Memories are cold
It seems that every year, every rugby season, I play the first few ghames, and I do well. And then they stop playing me.
This weekend was the second game in a row that I didn't even step on the field. And maybe I shouldn't feel so sulky, or maybe I should stop measuring parts of my self worth to how much time on a rugby field I spend, or maybe I should suck it up and take one for the team. So why do I feel like quitting? Why do I feel inexplicably angry and hurt? Why do I put so much into this team to practice varsity watching rugby? Why do I waste my time? I could be studying for the test I have on Tuesday that I'm going to fail, or for the one on Thursday, or starting papers that are due or reading the books that are swamping me. Instead I go to practice, and I know, without it, I'd be a little lost. But still. . .
remind me again why I do this. Some words of encouragement, please. Just give me something.
wunderwuman at