03.25.02/2
Love is believing
In my conversation last night with Amanda, we talked about love. Real versus. . . I don't know, what other kind of love is there? She said that if two people can be apart, talk on the phone, email each other, if they can do that and still connect than it's something more, something deeper.
I had the same conversation with Zach, to see what he thought about it. When I told him what she said, he didn't understand what she meant by more, or deeper. Which I thought was interesting.
How do you love someone when you can't touch them when you need to? How do you rely on someone if they can't be there to hold you when you cry, or to lay in bed together and laugh?
Both of those conversations got me thinking, all day today and yesterday. What is love anyway? How do you know you love someone? How can love eventually fade if it's that deep in the first place? And then, for a few moments, I thought, "Maybe I've never been in love at all, if that's what it's supposed to be. Something more (though I don't even know what is meant by more)."
And then I thought, to me, love is excitement to see someone. Coming home and hoping there's a message on the phone. Being able to tell secrets you've never told before, being a little suprised by them everyday, sleeping soundly beside them, not having to spend every night together, being happy if you get to spend every night together. And then I thought, how can what I feel be anything but love? Because it's all those things and more.
I think that your love for every person is a little different, but mostly the same. Or maybe it's a little the saem but mostly different. Either way, it's just this feeling inside. I think it's easy to wonder if you've ever been in love with someone when the boy you may have loved has mostly faded into a dream. But I think that if you thought you did once, you did. Because what is love besides believing?
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