12.09.01
If you court this disaster I'll point you home
9.26
I worry about her a lot, but when she says stuff like that, it makes me know, positively know that she's gonna be ok. I took a bath, soaked in baby oil and scented body scrubs, surrounded by fat candles. I don't often take baths, but when I do, I really enjoy them. I heard the phone ring and heard my dad say, "Zach? Ok, I'll tell her you called." So I hurried up a little, drained the tub, dried off, put on cozy pj's and called him back. I invited him to my parent's Christmas party, I thought he would gasp and run in the other direction. But he souned pleased and said cool, he has to see if he's working or not. I got all giddy and shaky and *gah* I want this boy with me now. 7.41Moment: clearing the table of dishes after my parents have moved into the next room t admire our Christmas tree. Wishing for the tenth time today that he was here. Imagining laying with him in my musty basement pretending to watch a movie. Hoping he calls tomorrow. 6.40So my idea for my dad's present has developed. I got lost looking through old picture books of my parents before we were born, of us as babies, of our summer trips. Then I got to thinking that I'm going to buy one of those frames with a bunch of pictures in it and make it for both my parents. I have a picture of each of them before they were married, one of them together in Europe on their honeymoon, one of each of us kids (between two and four) then a couple random ones as we were growing up and then one of them kissing at New Year's 2000, a recent one of us three and a family one we all took this summer. As long as I can find a frame to hold 12 pictures it's going to be a kick-ass present and I'm really excited about it! Tuesday I'll be at the mall looking. I love making fun presents. 4.42I helped Dad put up the Christmas tree today. Trimmed branches, got stabbed by needles, arranged lights to near perfection, stodd back and smiled at each other, my mother hovering nearby.
I want to get my dad something really nice this year for Christmas. He's not easy to shop for, so I always seem to get him books, or cd's, which he appreciates. but I want something to say what I can't. To tell him how important he is, how much I love him. I was thinking about a double picture framce, one of him holding me when I was a baby and a recent one of us together.
I'm getting my hair cut on Tuesday (finally). I'm going to dye it dark red I think. I'm excited for a change, I've been blonde for a long time. Too long, I'm sick of it. I'm also going to go Christmas present shopping afterwards on Tueday and buy a new sexy, shimmery but clasy shirt to wear to my parents Christmas Party. I love Christmas parties. I love standing talking to my parents friends, sipping on wine and pretending that I'm all grown up. I guess I almost am all grown up.
I'm going to invite Zach. I don't want to make him feel trapped, I don't want him to feel like he has to come, like this is some sort-of a test, but I'm going to invite him. I hope he says yes.
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