12.01.01
One day they're here, the next day they're gone
I thought about him all day. I went to the gym, and from my sweat could smell alcohol and him. I liked it.
He kissed me goodbye, which we've never done before. I went to the gym and napped and then went to Ann's, and kept wanting to call him. I like us how we are now, there's no dependancy, there's no real fear. And I say that I don't want our feelings to change. But on the rainy walk home tonight, I realized that feelings are always changing. That I can't possibly wish for this to stay the same, I can only hope it keeps getting better.
This is easy, being with him. Looking at his eyes as he talks, memorizing the callouses on his palms as they run down my skin, I like all of this. And how much I like it doesn't seem to scar me. It's just natural, and that makes me feel secure. Because even if tomorrow I wake up and all of these feelings are gone, today, and last night, and days before that, it was easy. And he made me happy. I made me happy. And if nothing else, I know I'm going to be ok for the rest of my life.
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