18.11.01
Count the headlights on the highway
Some boys make you feel special. Some boys make you feel powerful. The way they look at you and in their eyes you can read what they're thinking.
The one eyebrow-lifted look. They playful I-know-you-can-see-in-my-eyes-that-I-want-you look. It makes me want to bite my bottom lip and run my hands hard up under his shirt.
After I told my mom all that's been going on, she's been asking me how I am. And when I answer with trivial things of papers and boys and friends, she says, ok, but how are you? And it's good to know she cares. I told her that since I talked to her I felt a lot better. And she said, "Don't you dare lie to me about this." I said, "It's ok, I'm not."
Zach told me today that Gretchen never knew, that I was the one to break the news. And he said it like I should regret telling her. I said, "I needed to tell her." I think he was a little hurt because he said, "I didn't know you felt so bad about it."
I find it eay to close holes inside of me without fillign them. It always seems to come back and haunt me though.
wunderwuman at