11.06.01
I forgot my mittens
I can't really complain about my mother. Cause she's great. But tonight I'm going to. She just doesn't get me sometimes. I'm worried about this French class - and she thinks I don't want to be in school anymore. Know what? Today, I don't. And tomorrow I won't either. And no, I didn't want to come back after being at home for the weekend. That doesn't mean I'm destined for failure.
She said that as long as I'm not lying to myself. Cause if I'm lying to myself, I can't expect anyone else to be honest with me. I said, "Mom, why are you convinced I'm lying to myself about this?" She said, "I just feel like I have to convince you to go to school."
It bothered me. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be making good grades. I wouldn't be going to class. I wouldn't be interested in what I'm learning. So I hate one class. What bothers me is how she takes every little woe I have and forsees it as my ultimate undoing. So university wasn't for John, now she has every intennae up so high that they're picking up vibes that aren't there.
Just because I don't like school right now, doesn't mean I'm going to drop out. What are my options then? Move home and get a job? Start working for my living. I'm not ready to do that yet. It drives me nuts when she's like this. It drives her nuts when I'm like this. But fuck Mom - I'm not going to fail or drop out, ok? I'm doing fine, not involved in any shifty buisness. I'm just having a little trouble with one course.
Ugh. I hate feeling this aggrivated.
wunderwuman at