08.23.01
For a minute I let my guard down
I wanted to hold on to Jimmy as long as my memories were sweet, I wanted to tell him in a way nothing would ever change, that there would always be a piece of me that is deeply in love with him, that if he said he wanted me back I wouldn't know what to do. It's too easy to fall into that trap of being dependent.
I thought that telling him all these things would give me closure. And then I started to think about things other than him. I started going about my day like normal. And I realized that rehashing things with him one more time wouldn't give me closure. Realizing that I'm a very complete person right now, and that while it's nice to see him once in a while and catch up, it's not what's best, that's what gave me closure.
It's easy to remember him, especially when he's right in front of me. It's easy to see his insides still when we're the only ones in the room, when there's a little bit of that magic left in the air. But. . . I don't need him anymore. I don't need to tell him that I still love him in a way, because I know he knows that, because I know he feels that too. I thought that all the unspoken words between us made the air heavy, but I have to give him credit: I know he can feel them and know what they are as well as I can.
I've already moved on, somedays are lonely and I want someone to hold me. But it's not him that I want to hold me. And I know this, even when I doubt it.
I'll tell you something I'll never forget
The sight of you in the silouhette
Outside Sault Ste. Marie, oh you really threw me
When you pulled me down to your rocky bed
In a crowded room I stood there empty
Looking for salvation and glory be
When a shot turned my head and I saw you instead
Walking into my rocky world
wunderwuman at