4.21.09
Reading groups, veggies, lady parts and running
I've been doing a Saturday morning kick boxing class and it's kind of fun. And a Wednesday morning weight lifting class that's much less fun but does the trick. I haven't been getting as much running in as I'd like, but we're still adjusting and I'm trying to get one a week in.
I have trouble motivating myself to do strength training, so those classes are really good.
I love running, I really do. Sure, there are sometimes a couple weeks that roll by when I haven't run much (or worse) haven't had a good run, but (try not to laugh) it's such a release for me. I get totally zen about life, I think about my goals, my purpose, spirituality. Not that every run is like that because sometimes it just hurts, but you know, most of them are good. And no matter what I do, nothing does it like running. I'd love taking Milo for a walk on trails everyday, I'd love to hike more, I really want to start snowshoeing. I'm ok pushing the stroller and this summer I'm going to try to be a little more serious about gardening. And those things are all nice, I enjoy them. But they don't compare to the moment the other morning when I ran down the longest hill ever in the shade of the trees on the path in the woods and then at the bottom there was this patch of sunshine and the sun was making the water on the lake sparkle and it was so early the air was still crisp and the steam was rising and Milo looked back at me, tounge wagging as if to say Isn't this awesome?!. Sadly, I turned around and ran back UP the longest hill ever but still, that moment stuck.
It's times like that, when you stumble across a pocket of unexpected sunshine on a cool morning that make me believe in God. There are so many thousands of unanserable questions in the world, so many things that we can't explain. But in my heart of hearts, I feel there is something more.
The month before I got pregnant with Leila (keep in mind I was 24 and we had just moved in together), a random, out of nowhere thought came into my head and I knew I'd become pregnant within the month. Six weeks later, I took a positive pregnancy test. It sounds so silly to anyone else, I can understand that. I've never told anyone besides Steve that, because I think so many people would shug it off, but I know it happened, and in that moment, I knew it was true. The same thing happened with Alena. I was worried about having two kids that close in age and trying to convince Steve to wait another year or so before getting pregnant again and then suddendly, I heard a voice or had a thought or whatever you want to call it that It's time for another child. And so we stopped using protection and (despite not having a period since August 2005!!) within two months I was pregnant.
That's why I'm hesitant to say we won't have any more children, because what if that happens again? So I try to say, two is enough for now and stuff like that, or there's only two of us! Or whatever trite answer I can think of without getting into a long drawn out answer about my beliefs, my concerns, my hopes and dreams... you get the picture. Really, what business is it any anyone's anyway? But that's not the point.
Lady parts update, I have still not had a period since August 2005. I'm still on micronor even though Alena's off the boob becaues I haven't had a chance to get to the clinic. I'm going to go on Thursday though, since Steve's off and get a regular one. Any suggestions? Any pills that might help me not get bat-shit crazy every month/keep my skin clear? I'm thinking Yaz (but only because I saw a commercial for it and everyone looked happy in it?). I'm not really sure what to do about this whole lack of menstration thing, where I should go from here. I started looking into it between pregnancies and it turned into a lot of waiting for phone calls for ultrasounds and blood tests and even more shrugged shoulders and implications that unless I wanted to get pregnant right now it didn't matter anyway. Once we had determined that something wasn't working properly and then it was brushed off, that sort of things really stresses me out, so I'm not sure where to go from here. Wait for a while I guess, and hope for the best.
Hmmm, I had origionally intended to write about fitness not babies and lady parts. Anyway, I'm exhausted today, not sure why. Leila's been really bored (or something) the past couple of days and told me she wants other kids to play with. So we went to a reading group for 3-5year olds this morning at the library. It was in this big room and the mom's were free to roam about the library for the half hour. I wasn't about to leave the room, because she would have gotten too upset, so Alena and I sat in the far corner and read a book and she chewed on my purse and actually kept trying to crawl over to Leila while Leila listened to the stories and they sang songs. She had fun and told me she wanted to go back again. I told her that today was Tuesday, and we could go to the reading group every Tuesday morning. I asked her if she would be confortable with me picking out some books in the library while she was listening to the story and she wasn't sure. So I told her I wouldn't leave the library, but would just go over by the kid's section and pick out some books for her and then come back when the stories were over. She said If I'm comfortable, then you can go. But if I'm not comfortable then you stay in that chair. We agreed to see how she felt next week.
I'm making salmon and risotto for supper tonight (my favourite supper!) and news on the veggie front, Leila ate broccoli and decided that since she's two now and eats one bite of vegetable at each supper, that when she's three, she'll eat two bites of vegetables, since she'll be growing and need bigger muscles. Last night we had chicken wraps and so she was quite happy that her vegetables were cukes and tomatoes and actually, I had them out on the table while I was cooking the chicken and she munched on them until it was time to sit down. So slowly but surely, we're getting there.
Also, there's a monthly book club at the library. This month (tonight or next week maybe) is The Memory Keeper's Daughter which I have but is still packed but things are too crazy this week anyway, but I think I'll start going next month.
wunderwuman at 2:14 p.m.