12.09.02
Start a love train
My house got renevated this fall. My parents have been moved back in for about three weeks now, but last night was my first time spending the night here.
The new wood creaks and groans at night, and the walls echo because there are no pictures hung yet. I couldn't sleep last night, so I layed in bed, wiggling my feet under the covers and watching my cat attack them.
Today I went grocery shopping for my mom while she studied for her exams this week. It's happened before, this feeling of feeling like a visitor in the place where my heart sleeps. It's not a feeling that I like, but at the same time, I don't dislike it.
However little the city I live in may be, this town is smaller still. The pace is slower, people look at you as you walk by. And as I walked from the grocery store to my mother's salty car, I felt like I was a visitor. And in many ways, I am.
I used to think I knew where I was going, but lately I've been realizing that I don't know much. My emotions have been all over the place, I've been dreading the night, because I hate being left alone with nothing but my thoughts. This has never happened to me before. I've always liked being by myself, because I liked what I heard. But lately, at night, I'm scared of the cries I hear inside my heart.
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