11.21.01/2
Take a short break
I went for a walk to clear my head. And it worked. I realized that right now, I don't want to be his girlfriend. I thought about what he said and realized why he said it. Cause he was scared, cause he freaked out, cause he thought I wanted something more than I did.
He messaged me once I was home, and eventually asked me to call him. I said, "I don't want to be your girlfriend." And he said, "What! Why didn't you tell me that on the phone?" And I said because I didn't realize that until I thought about it.
He apologized for freaking out, and assuming things. And I said it's ok, cause it happens to everyone. Told him that I'm a big overanalyzer. I said that I didn't want to say anything I would regret or anything that would freak him out, but that there is a difference between dating someone even casually and being friends with benifits. He asked what it was. And I said other people. Or the lack of them. And asked if that scared him, and he said no, because that's what he wanted, that's what he meant when he suggested it.
We talked for a bit, and he sounded more and more relieved as the conversation continued. I asked him what he was thinking during a silent pause, and he said, "That you're an awesome person."
I said, I don't want to be with you every day, I don't want to invade your space, because I need my space too, I need room to think and breathe. I'm not looking to fall in love with you. And he said "You're not?" I said, did you think I was? And he said he didn't know what I thought. I said, we can take it a day at a time, and if eventually we don't want to continue it, that's ok.
I think this boy is ok afterall.
He thanked me about four times for calling and not being mad that he got scared.
wunderwuman at