09.20.01
It's just like going home
Happy Birthday Janette.
Last night I walked from the pub to my room, after talking to Jason. And I wanted to run back and kiss him, to tell him to come back with me. I wanted to tell him I had though about him for two days straight, that I didn't regret kissing him and letting him kiss me back. But I just kept walking home. Because he was drunk.
I talked to Amanda about him, told her I wasn't sure how I felt, what I wanted. And then I went to class and listened to my professor drone on about Ancient Greek, Plato and our government today. And I realized that I do want to date him. I want to get to know him. Even if it's only for fun.
Sometimes when I'm sad I feel guilty and don't want to bring others down with my saddness. And sometimes I feel guilty for being happy, for feeling like my life has fallen into place, that this is where I'm supposed to be. And sometimes I wonder if there's a happy medium at all.
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